Simulated Shipboard Life
donated by Bill Whitt, USS St. Paul CA-73, 1951-1952

HOW TO SIMULATE SHIPBOARD LIFE:

SUGGESTIONS FOR THE LAND-LOCKED SAILOR WHO MISSES THE GOOD OLD DAYS

1. Sleep on the shelf in your closet. Replace the closet door with a curtain. Six hours after you go to sleep, have your wife whip open the curtain, shine a flashlight in your eyes, and mumble "Sorry, wrong rack".

2. Renovate your bathroom. Build a wall across the middle of your bathtub and move the showerhead down to chest level. When you take showers, have someone flush the toilet repeatedly, make sure you shut off the water while soaping.

3. Every time there's a thunderstorm, go sit in a wobbly rocking chair and rock as hard as you can until you're nauseous.

4. Put lube oil in your humidifier instead of water and set it to High. *(An engineer thing - they all stink like fuel and oil!)

5. Don't watch TV except movies in the middle of the night.