The New Zealand Flag

A bit of New Zealand Humor!

This article titled "Didn't Like Mutton", is from the August-September 1999 Guadalcanal Echoes.
The parent organization is the GCV, Guadalcanal Veterans Organization, which apparently
consists of anyone of any branch of the US Armed Forces who were involved in this 6 month campaign.
This issue was the last for Ted Blahnik as editor for he was retiring.
Ted was a survivor from the Battle of Kula Gulf.


Dear Ted:

So Bert Mason (page 21 Feb/March Echoes) didn’t go much for our New Zealand mutton.
Well Bert, you have my sympathy, but heck, you Yanks were sitting ducks.

My wife and I have made many trips up to the 2nd Marines Div. Assoc. reunions in
different parts of the states and there is always one think we can count on. Most times
they will tell us how they enjoyed the time they spent in New Zealand in WWII, how
nice we were to them, what lovely milk and butter we had, how sweet our girls were, but
one thing they never miss “Oh that darned mountain goat of yours.”

But just hang on a minute fellows, spare a thought for us Kiwi's. In those days we had less
than two million people and over 70 million sheep. We couldn't ship them all out to starving
Poms (Ed:?) so what to do with those we were not able to eat ourselves?

And then: pennies from heaven, here come all those darned Yanks. Sure beef and pork would
have been lovely but you guys had two shows. I still reckon you were the best fed troops
in the world, Spam, spam and more spam. I really don't know what you had to moan about.

In the WWII Kiwi navy we victucents on 72 cents a day, then shipped out to the pom navy and
they lavished us with 30 cents a day! Beat that! Man what I would have given for a bit of good
old Kiwi mutton once in awhile. So, what say Bert. Count your blessings for those “good old days”.
You survived both the Jap bullets and Kiwi mutton, and I tell you that's some achievement!

Stan Martin

PS: Bert,
as an act of good will and nostalgia and to enhance US-NZ relations, I'd be happy to send
you a chunk of our best quality prime mountain goat. It has never tasted better. Drop us a line.

The following story has nothing to do with New Zealand.
Except that olders folks are the same everywhere and can relate!!

I'm Fine

There's nothing whatever the matter with me.
I'm just as healthy as I can be.
I have arthritis in both my knees
And when I talk, I talk with a wheeze.

My pulse is weak and my blood is thin,
But I'm awfully well for the shape I'm in.
I think my liver is out of whack
And a terrible pain is in my back.

My hearing is poor, my sight is dim,
Most everything seems to be out of trim.
But I'm awfully well for the shape I'm in.

I have arch supports for both my feet,
Or I wouldn't be able to go on the street.
Sleeplessness I have night after night,
An in the morning I'm just a sight.

My memory is failing, my head's in a spin.
I'm peacefully living on aspirin.
But I'm awfully well for the shape I'm in.

The moral is, as this tale we unfold,
That you and and me who are growing old,
It's better to say, “I'm fine” with a grin
Than to let them know the shape we're in.